


Love burns brighter than the sun

by YohKoBennington



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-21
Updated: 2012-03-21
Packaged: 2017-11-02 08:24:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/366963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YohKoBennington/pseuds/YohKoBennington
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen is a quiet guy, always immersed in his own world and he's fine with it. Then Jared comes to his life to invade that world and change it forever. When they are at the happiest point of their relationship, distance crumbles everything down and they are both left heart broken. Until years later, when they meet again. Will they be able to be happy this time around? Or will the same thing that broke them apart be the cause of more heartbreak?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love burns brighter than the sun

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: None of this is real. It's only written for fun. Lyrics on the scene dividers belong to: Drive by- Train, Great Beyond- REM, Maybe- Ingrid Michaelson, and Brighter than sunshine- Aqualung (title inspired also on this song) respectively. Written for the spn_illuminated, for this art prompt: http://theextrac00kie.livejournal.com/8268.html

 

 

 

 

**~And I loved you**

        **every mile you drove away~**

 

  
The music and chatter bounces through the walls, nothing that Jensen can make up. Not that he's paying attention to it anyways. The beer inside the red plastic cup is probably warm from holding it in his hands for so long. It's not like alcohol is helping with the emotional storm that his head is going through right now.

If he's honest with himself, he should have been prepared for this day. But denial is the best defense mechanism, and hope is something that idiots like him eat with a glass of milk every morning.

The leather brown suitcases somehow shine in the dark room. Laughing at him. Reminding him that, this is it, tomorrow he'll be back to be _just_ Jensen. The quiet guy always too engrossed in some book to care for socialization. Who he has been since the day his mother gifted him with the precious world of literature, and somehow built a path that took Jensen all the way here, to what he envisioned would be the rest of his life.

Except he never imagined crossing paths with Jared. He never pictured that he would fall for him. Not bookworm Jensen, who sat in the least crowded corner in every class with a book open as he waited for the lecture to start, sending the clear universal message that he wasn't interested in mindless conversation.

And somehow, Jared hadn't seemed to get that memo. Or he had just seen an opportunity to smash down another social imposed norm. Because Jared loves to break the rules and to think outside the box. Go his own way. According to him, life is not fun if you always walk the straight line. Jensen, on the other hand likes the rules; he thinks they're there for a reason. But Jared has taught him to look beyond, and that's something he'll take with him for the rest of his life.

Jensen is grateful that Jared, just fresh out of Texas with his southern charm and accent, had sat down next to him and started bugging the hell of him. Because it had been annoying to him at the beginning, somebody asking him questions when he was trying to finish the chapter before he had to put the book down.  Jensen had ignored him for the most part, clearly saying ' _leave me alone'._ But Jared didn't. He tried talking to Jensen again the next time, getting an annoyed glare over the black-rimmed glasses for all his work.

That's when he changed tactics. That's Jared for you: a hurricane that would blow you away with his presence while still grounding you down. Minutes before every class started, Jared would slip him a small piece of paper. This caught Jensen's attention right away, because he has some sort of what he thinks is an unhealthy fascination with every piece of writing plastered on paper. To his big surprise, it was stanza from a poem he’s known pretty well since fifth grade.

The little papers kept coming, Jared obviously trying to break the shell that Jensen had created for himself. Each new stanza made Jensen smile shyly, somehow Jared found ones that could follow the last one even though they were from different poems. Jared was telling him a story, and Jensen found himself eagerly waiting for the next piece of paper each class[](http://s803.photobucket.com/albums/yy320/YB87/Fics%20art/?action=view&current=s640x4801.jpg)

  
Jensen had chuckled shortly, shaking his head at the cheesiness and yet tenderness in that single paper. He had looked up at Jared's goofy smiling face, dimples on display for Jensen to be mesmerized by them.  He didn't do dating; he was completely fine with zero drama in his life. But this was Jared, who had grown on him with every word and minute he dedicated to Jensen for the past few weeks. The answer was obvious even though Jensen took the whole class to make a decision. Then before leaving class, he proceeded to write down his own answer under the made up stanza.

[ ](http://s803.photobucket.com/albums/yy320/YB87/Fics%20art/?action=view&current=cats1.jpg)

*******

Two semesters later, Jensen is here. Sitting in this room and trying to convince himself he will be fine. Loneliness is like learning how to ride a bike, you never forget how to go back and do it.

Besides, he should be happy. Celebrating like everybody else on graduation day. He's done. No more school papers, studying until late at night, and worrying about grades. They are officially adults, ready to go out to the world and make a difference.

 _God_ , he sounds like Jared.

Jared, who's going back to his family ranch in Texas tomorrow. And Jensen who's staying here, 1,993 miles away, with a job offer on his plate and his life already planned. 

Repeating it over and over in his head doesn't lessen the pain or help the unavoidable set in.

Jensen startles when warm hands take away the plastic cup. Jared is putting it down on the wooden floor by the side of the bed, as he sits down next to him hip to hip. There is no more noise coming from outside the room, and Jensen wonders how long has he been in here moping around.

“Where's everybody?” he asks vaguely because he really doesn't care. The only person he cares about is right here next to him. And that's the problem actually. Being so wrapped up in Jared is what is going to destroy him come tomorrow morning.

“They decided to take the party back the Vase bar.” Jared's voice sounds husky from the tequila shots Jensen saw him down with Chad earlier, but he doesn't sound drunk like he probably should be. “I told them we were calling it a night.”

Jensen nods.

They fall into an uncomfortable silence, and isn't that a bitch. The only person Jensen could always not feel awkward with is Jared, and now he doesn't even have that anymore. _Jared's leaving_.  Jensen doesn't want to say goodbye.

He can feel himself starting to close up, building back up the walls Jared plummeted down brick by brick. Jensen wants this to be over with. Rip it like a band-aid. He can't take the helplessness anymore. “I should go home.” He chokes out, rising quickly from the bed like feeling Jared next to him is burning him. Deep to the core of his heart.

“Hey,” Jared grabs his arm and pulls him back down to the bed. Before Jensen can protest he has arms full of Padalecki. “Stay.” Jared whispers brokenly, and now Jensen knows the huskiness has nothing to do with the tequila.

This is hard on Jared too, and it's not fair for Jensen to just ignore that because he's scared shitless of how he's going to continue his life without him being there.

Jensen hugs him back tightly. Silently conveying his body to memorize one last time what it feels to be held like this. Jared kisses him softly in the neck, his hair tickling Jensen's nose with the movement. Jensen borrows his nose in it, taking a swift of vanilla and Old Spice mixed.

 There is nothing else for them to say, every possibility of this continuing tainted with the reality of the miles in between and the life they get to live from now on. _Apart._

Later, they lie next to each other in bed, Bodies sweaty and sated, and Jared's heart a constant rhythm under Jensen's ear. He couldn't still make himself regret every moment he spent with Jared. Even when it hurts so much to say goodbye.

 

                 
                       **~I Look into the stars**

**I Look into the moon~**

 

  
The snowflakes crashing against the window pushed by the never forgiving wind make Jensen glad he's inside his warm and cozy office. The storm had started last night, and by the time he had to get to work, driving the slippery roads had been a hazard. It's almost noontime, and it seems to be calming down. Hopefully by closing time, it will be all gone.

Jensen loves Boston and all its big buildings merging the old and the new, great coffeehouses, amazing museums, the libraries and universities. What he doesn't like is when they have a hard wintertime. Like this year, a snow storm every week. But he’s gotten used to it and learned how to make the best of his days blanketed with white.

He couldn't say the same for some other things he prefers to avoid thinking about but unavoidably come to mind when he least expects it. It has been six years; he should be over that already.

Sighing, he goes back to his reading. Trying to finish editing the last pages of the current manuscript he's in charge with.  When he's in the last page of the soon to be book, a soft knock in his office door breaks his concentration.

“Working hard, I see.” Sophia leers, walking inside.

Jensen mock pouts. “I'm always working hard.”

“That, my friend, is the whole issue.” She answers, dropping a manila envelope on Jensen's desk. “But I'm not going to bug you about your boring personal life. Today, I'm scotch tape.”

Jensen snorts. “Scotch tape?”

“I heard it from this funny guy on the Internet. I'll send you the link.” She winks.

“How is it that you get to decide what books are worthy of editing or not again?” Jensen asks teasingly.

He remembers one time when he thought he wouldn't be able to be this carefree again. When every day he would go to bed, trying not to cry and putting on a brave face before getting out of bed again in the morning.

Then he started his new job at Chacsper & Associates, as the junior assistant until he had built his own reputation in the company and became head editor. Meeting Sophia and having her as his boss was a blessing. She was easygoing, a hard worker, and disciplined. Everything Jensen needed in his life at the moment to be better. She also became his best friend.

“Five years Master in English Literature, a PhD in Language Pedagogy, and a boat load of experience, buddy.” Sophia readily answers the jab, sitting down on the corner of Jensen's desk. It's something they do all the time.

Jensen chuckles, putting the manuscript and highlighter on his desk. “What's this?” He asks holding the heavy envelope.

“New book, for my most precious editor to work his magic with.”

“You say that to every editor on this floor.”

Sophia gasps. “I do not, sir!”

“I heard you say the exact thing to Tom last week.” Jensen deadpans.

“Ah, well that's different. I'm trying to get into his pants.”

Jensen shakes his head with a short chuckle. “You're unbelievable.”

“A girl gotta do what she's gotta do to get some action, baby.” Sophia pats him in the cheek. “Not everybody is trying to win the record of celibacy like you.”

Jensen winces. “I thought we were Scotch tape today?”

Sophia sighs, dramatically rolling her eyes. “Anyways, I need you to take a look at this one. It's this new writer, I quite like his style. I think you will enjoy it as well.”

Jensen opens the envelope, and takes out the white pages held by a big binder clipper. In front it reads the novel title: “The heart of a horse”, and under it, the author's name.

Jensen stares at it, feeling his stomach drop all the way down to the carpeted floor.

“Jared Padalecki?” His name sounds so familiar on his lips, even after all this time.

“Yeah. He's this big hot shot in Texas. His family has been in the business of raising horses for a long time. They are very popular in those circles. Apparently they have the best horses and people actually pay a lot of money to have their own horses trained by the Padalecki's.”

Jensen turns her out. He knows all that. He knows Jared was the only child from the Padalecki's who felt the same passion for horses as his father, his other two siblings deciding to fall away from the family tradition. That he had gone to college for a Business and Computer science degree in order to help the business to grow into the new era of technology. He had transferred to finish his last two semesters in Boston. Where they met in professor's Lawrence class.

Six years, and seeing Jared's name typed in this page makes every single emotion he buried rush back.

“Jensen?”

“Uh?” He says distracted.

“Are you listening to me? You look like you just saw a ghost.”

Might as well have. “I was listening.” he clears his throat, leaving the manuscript back on the desk. “How long do I have for this one?”

Sophia studies him closely, obviously not biting into the deflection, but she doesn't say anything about it. “The author is coming to the city in two weeks, so if you could have it done by then it would be great. I'll give any incoming projects to the other guys until you're done with this.”

Jensen's heart is beating so fast, and he avoids crossing his arms over his chest, afraid it will rip out of it any second.

Jared is coming back. He's not ready to see Jared again. He should tell Sophia to give the manuscript to someone else. But he won't, because _Jared wrote a book_. And Jensen gets to read it in its raw form. He gets to add his own touches to something Jared put work into. Nobody else gets to do that but _him_.

The irrational possessiveness over a load of pages is a new whole level of ridiculousness for him.

“Yeah, yeah sure. I can have it done by then. No problem.” He laughs nervously.

“Alright.” She smiles, and hops off the desk.

Jensen stares after her, waiting.

Mid closing the door and when Jensen thinks he's free, Sophia peeks her head. “Is that Jared, _the Jared_?” she ask, her face all knowingly.

Jensen bites down a whimper. “Go away, and let me work!”

Sophia laughs, and closes the door while singsonging, “This is going to be interesting.”

Jensen sighs tiredly, fingers massaging his temples as he looks down at Jared's manuscript. _Jared_. He has been saying his name in his head in the last ten minutes, than in these past years. The only other time he say it out loud, was after four shots of whiskey and tequila and told Sophia the story of his failed love tale.

He doesn't touch the manuscript again, deciding to finish up with the previous one first. By the time he's done with it, talking to the author, and sending it back, it's time for him to go home. He packs the new manuscript in his messenger briefcase and heads back home.

*******

After having some dinner and taking a warm shower to take away the cold. Jensen decides to call it an early night, taking his contacts out and going to sleep.

Except he can't. When his tossing and turning goes on for a whole hour, he sits up aggravated. He gets out of bed, puts his robe back on and stomps down to the kitchen. Who cares if looks like he's having a temper tantrum, nobody can see him.

Bottle of whiskey and glass in hand, he grabs his briefcase on his way back to his bedroom. He takes the manuscript out after pouring some whiskey, puts his old glasses on, and starts to read it. When he's editing, Jensen reads the whole chapter first, and then reads it again but point out any mistakes, and writing little suggestions next to the paragraphs that would make the image the writer is trying to convey easier for the reader. He never tries to change the style. Everybody has their own, and as long they can put sentences correctly together in a way that attracts whoever is reading, all is good. To Jensen, it’s a bit egotistic from some editors to try and change a novel to their standards. If they want to have a book with their own style, then they should write one.

As he reads the first chapter, he's transported to rocky mountains, green forests, and farm life. Jared has been always good with words. It was one of the things that made Jensen love him. He would be this person who could always talk about anything and everything, because he's that smart. But he could also say a lot about the moments of silence, and Jensen those moments adored the most. Not because he liked silence, but because those were for Jensen only and there such a connection between then that words were never really necessary when they needed to express what they were feeling.

He's on his second glass of whiskey and fourth chapter, enjoying Jared's words about his home and how much he loves horses.

“There has been only someone else that's not equine and I have loved this much in my life. Sadly, that's a boat that sailed a long time ago. Something forever regrettable.”

Jensen closes the book, with much force than he intended to. _Jesus Christ_ , is Jared talking about him in his book? It couldn't be him. It's been so long, he probably met somebody he fell for, Jensen becoming just a memory, right?

The coincidence is overwhelming.

More whiskey to the glass, Jensen leaves the manuscript in the bed as he walks to his closet. Reaching for the top shelf, he grabs the old shoebox. Wiping the dust off, he sits down on the floor, back resting against the end of the bed. He places his glass next to his leg, and puts the box in front of his crossed legs.

Taking a deep breath, he opens the box. It's filled with Polaroids and other miscellaneous things. In the photographs, Jared's young face greets him with his dimpled smile. They are random, with Jensen in them as well. They took those photos during Christmas break. It had been a slow winter; there was barely any snow on the ground. Jared had decided he needed a road trip to other states near Boston, so they had done just that.

It had been the best vacation in Jensen's life.

Staring at a picture of him smiling widely at the camera as Jared planted a kiss on his cheek, he wonders where he would be if they had made it until now. He drops the picture and closes the box, chastising himself mentally because there was no point in daydreaming what had never happened anyways.

Jared coming back doesn't mean anything. Jensen needs to get a grip and just do his job. Then he will be gone again, and each one moving along with their lives.

Nothing else to it.

 

  
      **~I still feel you on the right side of the bed**

**And I still feel you in the blankets pulled over my head~**

 

  
On the day of the meeting, Jensen has the fleeing idea of not getting out of bed and calling out sick. But that's unprofessional and not him. Besides, the part of him that isn't freaking out and seems to have some masochist trait wants to see Jared.  He goes through his morning routine before driving to the office. Jared's manuscript safely tucked inside his messenger briefcase and edited page by page.

Making a quick stop in to his office to get everything else he needs, Jensen goes to the conference room where he'll be meeting Jared alone first, and then Jared will have his meeting with Sophia and Mr. Chacsper to talk about publishing days and so on.

His breakfast sits heavily in his stomach. Jensen tries to distract himself with reading this book he bought some weeks ago and hadn't started reading yet, instead of looking at the door every five minutes.

He hears a familiar chuckle. “Some things never change,” followed by a voice that he also knows too well.

Jared is standing by the door, tall figure a few inches from touching the frame above. And Jensen's hands tighten on the book at how good he looks even when he hasn't changed that much. Same broad shoulders contrasting with his slim hips and holding his long strong arms.  His hair is longer, touching the base where neck becomes shoulders.  But his face is the same, looking more mature with the way his hair is combed; it's like the years hadn't passed by and he was back to college out all of a sudden.

He stands quickly, almost dumping the coffee all over the table. Jared enters the room and walks toward him, taking off his coat and leaving only his plaid shirt on, then folding it on one of the empty chairs. Jensen doesn't know what to say. His tongue has decided to take a vacation in the back of his throat and refuses to go work, and his dick is trying to do exactly what would make this situation more awkward than already it is.

Jensen embarrassingly squeaks when Jared bear hugs him, and he'll deny to himself how his body instantly molds to it screaming _I belong here_. He hugs Jared back when he remembers his also has arms and what they are for.

Jared pulls back, holding him by the shoulders, smile spreading as he does a once over. Jensen knows he's blushing, he can feel the heat spreading to his ears and Jared intent gaze makes him want to squirm.

“God, you haven't changed a bit.” his voice has some sort of awe to it, and that combined with his southern accent, is not helping Jensen to calm his storming insides. But forces himself to, because this is work, not a college reunion.

“I could say the same, but it seems you decided that the homeless puppy look didn't suit you anymore and went for the barbarian one instead.” The jab is out of his mouth before he even thinks about it, and for a minute he worries it's too much because they haven't been familiar in so long. But Jared laughs, eyes crinkling with amusement.

“Whatever, bottle eyes.” Jared snorts.

“I don't use glasses anymore.”

“Too bad, I liked those on you. Although, being able to see your eyes without them looking like goldfish is way better.”

Jensen pushes him playfully.  “My eyes never looked like that, jerk!”

Jared cackles, dropping his hold on Jensen's shoulders. “It's good to see you.”

“Good to see you too.” Jensen answers tenderly.

It's easy to fall back to part of what they left behind, and the hour they get to spend talking about the book and Jensen's suggestions flies by. They eat lunch together, talking about what they have been doing since the last time they saw each other. 

Afterward Jensen goes back to his office, while Jared has his meeting with the big heads. He gets distracted, swimming through the new projects Sophia had left at some point when he was with Jared at his desk.  So, he's surprised that when he looks at the clock on his desk it's past six, signaling that everybody most had gone home by now.  He wonders if Jared has left already, but then he wouldn't leave without saying goodbye, right?

“Well, that was the most intense meeting I've had in my life.” Jared's voice carries from the hall, before he opens the door and enters Jensen's office.

Jensen regards him with a small smile. A part of him still can't believe Jared is there, and he's waiting to wake up from this dream. “ Mr. Chacsper is a very thorough guy.” He answers, zipping his briefcase as he gets ready to go home.

“So,” Jared leans against the desk.

Jensen quirks an eyebrow. “So?”

“You're going home?”

“Obviously.” Jensen leers, and Jared smirks. They stare at each other, communicating through their eyes, just like they used too. And what Jensen sees on Jared's eyes, makes his dick twitch inside his pants. It might be a mistake to do this; god knows they had already made enough of those before. But right now, Jensen takes the worries and locks them up in the back of his mind because Jared is standing right here looking at him like six years meant nothing. Like they never were apart.

“Wanna come have dinner at my apartment?” Jensen asks nervously.

Jared pulls away from the desk, and takes Jensen's hand in his. “Lead the way.”

The ride back is quiet; Jensen is too distracted by the warm of Jared's hand and trying to get back to the apartment safely. Jared seems content with rubbing his thumb over Jensen's pulse point. Twenty minutes later, they are taking the elevator up to Jensen's floor, arms brushing where they stand so close.

“Jen?”

Jared has that husky tone in his voice that Jensen missed so much. He smiles at the almost forgotten nickname. “Yeah?”

“I really want to kiss you right now.” He says lining closely, until there is no space left even for the air.

Jensen unconsciously licks his lips, and his breath stutters. “What are you waiting for?” he breathes out, and Jared is kissing him as soon the last word is out. The kiss is ravenous, no time wasting on being chaste when they both are vibrating with so much want.

The elevator doors open and they stumble out, still kissing. Jensen can barely open his door, but he manages fine, dropping his briefcase on the floor as soon they are inside. Jared corners him against the wall, knocking the picture frame hanging there.

Jensen pays no attention to it, he only cares about Jared's hands taking his shirt out and sneaking inside. Skin tingles wherever his fingers touch him, and he just wants all the fabric off. When they part to pant for air, Jared takes his own shirt off while Jensen does the same. He stares at Jared's naked torso, it turns out Jared did changed something. All the farm work making his muscles more defined and his skin a darker tan than when he was in college. It makes Jensen's mouth water. He moves forward, kisses him on the neck, tongue dragging wetly over his skin, acquainting himself again with the taste of just Jared. He feels Jared shiver, and Jensen starts to move lower leaving changing from kisses to soft nips until he gets to the raised brown nipple and sucks on it.

Jared curses loudly, bucking his hips, and making his hard-on rub against Jensen's hip. Jensen would gladly stay where he is until Jared becomes a begging mess, but they are strung too tight to make this last longer. He can feel the front of his boxer briefs getting wet , and the already known tattle tale pressure on his belly.  Jared seems to feel the same, and he's yanking Jensen's pants open before sticking his hand inside. Jensen moans, head banging on the wall and hips automatically thrusting up to the calloused heat. Jared thumbs the head of Jensen's cock making him chokes out a scream, and then moves his hand down spreading the licking pre-come all the way down Jensen's shaft. Jared kisses him again, tongue sucking every breath he has to give. He can feel him moving lightly and his pants falling down to his ankles with the movement, but before he can actually look, he's being pressed flush between the wall and Jared's body. His breath stutters, fingers digging in Jared's shoulders, as he starts thrusting his hip to rub their erections together. Jensen can't move, and the friction is sending sparks of pleasure all the way to the tip of his toes. Then Jared moves his hands under Jensen's thighs and lifts him slightly off the ground, his fingers digging into flesh. And _fuck_ , that's it. The new angle is enough to make him go over the edge, Jared's name on his lips. Jared thrust a few more time, before he's following Jensen. Face going slack with pleasure, and having the sight of it again almost makes Jensen hard all over again.

When they come down, and can finally move. Jensen drags Jared to the shower, where they stay until the water runs cold exploring every part of their bodies like the first time they had sex. After a quick dinner, they have enough energy to go at it again, this time they make it to the bed and all the way. Alternating into small naps and sex through the night, because either could have enough of the other.

Everything feels like going back home.

 

                     
                  **~I didn’t believe in destiny**

**I look up you're standing next to me~**

 

  
Jensen could get used to this. Waking up in bed with the solid presence of Jared on his back. Having breakfast in the dining room, and bickering about mundane things as they talk about what's on the plate for their day.

It's just a dream though, and Jensen knows the dream will have to end at some point. It doesn't mean he wants it to be over, though.

“You went quiet all of a sudden. What is it?”

Jensen looks at Jared over the rim of his coffee cup. “Nothing,” he doesn't want to talk about it and ruin the good vibe they have at the moment.

 Jared moves his chair closer, until he’s facing Jensen's side and their knees touch. “Jen, talk to me.”

Jensen exhales, face pinched tight as he lowers his coffee to the table. “What are we doing, Jay?”

“Having breakfast?” Jared asks confused.

“Your plane leaves this afternoon.” Jensen says, getting up from his chair. He needs space to breathe clear air, not Jared's intoxicating smell that doesn't let him think clearly.

Jared doesn't say anything, and that's enough for Jensen. “Look, I get it okay? I did before and I do now. I'm not asking you to stay; I wouldn't do that to you.”

“I could stay.” Jared says rising from his place and walking over him. “I want to stay.”

“But you can't, and you shouldn't. Let's face it; you would be miserable living in the city. You're a country boy, out there you're happy. It's like a heaven, with everything you love.”

“Not completely, because I'm missing the biggest piece I love to be actually my heaven.”

Jensen swallows the lump in his throat. Jared still loves him. Hearing him saying should make him want to dance around yelling to the world how happy he is. But knowing this only makes things harder. “I love you, Jared. It's because I let you go before, and why I'm letting you go again. I can't be the reason your life turns miserable. I can't even bare the thought of it, and if that happens then all the sacrifices would be for nothing.”

Jared looks pained, like every word Jensen says is a punch to his gut. Jensen prefers not to be the one hurting him, but it's better if they confront the reality now than later when Jared is boarding his plane. He walks the few inches separating them and kisses Jared in the lips softly. Jared kisses him back, and they hug tightly.

“You should go.” Jensen whispers even though he has a dead grip on Jared.

“Not yet.”

*******

Jensen's takes one of the new manuscripts and starts editing. Two hours later, he's still on the same chapter and failing completely at concentrating. Jared's plane is probably already landing in Texas.

Jensen lost him again. He feels the burning in his eyes, and rubs them, trying to stop the tears. Suddenly his office feels like a dead trap, he's suffocating and he needs to get out. Taking his coat from the back of his chair, he tells the receptionist to let Sophia know he's leaving home early.

Except when he's parking in his spot in front of his building, he can't make himself get out of the car. His apartment is now filled with memories of Jared; his bed smells like Jared, the cup he used for his coffee this morning is still in the sink.

He's driving again, and without putting too much thought he ends by the river walk. The sun is starting to set, giving the ice over the Charles River an pale orange color.  The first time Jared left him, Jensen had come here to escape for hours. He had been here with Jared once, when he had wanted to show him his favorite place in Boston. At this time of day, the place is nearly empty. Only a couple of passers by now and them.

Jensen breathes in the salty air lingering from the sea not far from there.  He lets the tears spill this time. It hurts worse now. It's like life decided to dig deep into the sore wound, and this time Jensen doesn't think he can recover from it. He so feels impotent and angry.

_What the fuck is he supposed to do now?_

“I hope those tears are from the cold and not because of me.”

Jensen turns around surprised. “What- what are you...” He can’t stop stammering, his heart racing to keep up with the speed of his thoughts.

Jared smiles, walking as he explains. “I was on the plane waiting for it take off when I realized something. It's something so obvious that I should have done before that I hit my head several times against the window. I think the fly attendant believes I was having some sort of psychotic break down, and that's why when I asked to be let off she didn't put up any fight.” he chuckles.” I went to your office, but you had left already. Then I went to your apartment and you weren't there either. So I decided to come here to wait, until I thought you would be back home. What a great decision that turned out to be.”

Jensen wipes absently his face, staring at Jared like he's not real. “What is it that you realized?”

“That I never asked the right question.”

Jared stops right in front of him, and pulls out a ragged piece of paper. Opens it with both hands to show Jensen what it says.  
[](http://s803.photobucket.com/albums/yy320/YB87/Fics%20art/?action=view&current=cats2.jpg)

Jensen reads the paper twice before switching his eyes back to Jared, who is looking at him with so much hope, and Jensen knows that he wants to. His life here means nothing without Jared.

“Yes.” Jensen whispers.

“Yeah?” Jared asks his tone resembling an excited five year old.

Jensen laughs. “Yeah, I want to go with you.”

Jared whoops, and kisses him repeatedly. “I promise you won't regret it.”

Jensen knows he won't, because here by his side is heaven.

  
**~Fin~**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :3


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